It was a busy day.  I was determined to finish preparing a large art project for my kids before 5pm, in order to have an undistracted phone conversation with a very dear friend from home.

I kept hearing a whisper.

“Read my Word.  Get in my Word.  Study my Word.”

After the went on for some time, I realized that my Daddy wanted to teach me something.  Why else would He be so persistent?  He knew that my art project was important, but He also knew that the lesson He prepared for me would change me forever.

Although I was frustrated in the setback of my work, I opened my bible in great anticipation of the beauty that was to be revealed.  I didn’t open to anything specific.  I just opened it and sat there.  After a few minutes had passed, I asked God, “What would you like for me to read?”  He was very quick to respond.

“Luke 10.”

I began to read Luke 10, and I was immediately impacted by the words I was reading.  I kept reading and He kept touching my heart.  I then approached Luke 10:25

The Parable of the Good Samaritan

On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

“What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?”

He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.”

“You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”

But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him.  The next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’

“Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”

The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”

   Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”

I was so touched by this.  I just sat there, feeling the weighty presence of the Lord.  Then I remembered, God had something very specific for me.  I stated very simply, “Teach me, Lord.”

If we ask Him to teach us, He will never say no.  He will simply ask that you listen.

He began speaking to me about all the ones that are on the streets here in Kigali.  They stretch out their hands and they ask for money.  They yell “Mzungu!” as I walk by, in hopes of me giving them the large amounts of money they believe to be in my possession.  God asked me to think about my actions towards them.  I began thinking of all the times I simply walked past them without even looking them in the eyes.  I think to myself, “I don’t even have enough money for myself and my kids.  I simply cannot give anything to you.”

God spoke to me and said, “Laura, you always have something to give.  It is called mercy.  I want you to show mercy to each one.  It is not an option, it is my commandment to you.”

It was then that I realized God only ever asked me to love.  He asked me to love with all of my heart and in the most outrageous ways possible.  I may not always have spare change in my pocket, but I do always have extra love, overflowing from the depths of my heart.  Perhaps some of them only want the money, but I believe that deep inside, most of them want the love.

He kept speaking to me.

“Laura, the one in front of you is the one I have called you to.  If you cannot love one, how can you love thousands?”

Wow.  I was humbled beyond what words can express.  How true is this?  We are so quick to think of all of the outrageous things we can do and the ridiculous things we can accomplish.  We are so quick to dream big.  Don’t get me wrong, it is wonderful to dream big, and I do it on a daily basis, but I never want to be so caught up in my dreams that I forget the now.  You see, there is probably someone right in front of my face, in the now, that needs my mercy.

This was so pivotal for me.  Some days I get so discouraged and I think, “When will my ministry really happen?  When will I make a difference?”  On one recent occasion, I asked the Lord, “When will I see the big picture?”

He responded, “Laura, if you could see the big picture, you would be distracted from the ones in front of you.  And if even if there was no big picture, the ones in front of you would be worthy of your time and love.”

So here I am.  I don’t know much except that I am hungry for His heart.  I want it so bad.  I want to be near to Him and His love.  The best place to find that is in the ones right in front of me.  So I will stop for every one, and I will remember that He is strategic in all His ways.  I will pour His love out to the one in front of me, as if they were the only person alive.

Somehow, I believe that is the big picture.

…and she stretches out her hands to the needy.

As I prepare for my return to the Land of a Thousand Hills, my mind is racing.  Thoughts of the Kingdom are coming and going, and crossing paths on their way in and way out.  Ideas are becoming linked- they are explaining one another and making light of those that have rested in darkness for so long.

Truth comes to life and beauty radiates as the light Jesus promises is uncovered from the dusty lampshade of confusion.

I am a Proverbs 31 Woman.

For many months now, I have prayed along with my best friend that I would truly understand what it means to be a Proverbs 31 woman.  Beyond that- I prayed I would learn to walk in it.  This has become even more weighty in my mind over the past few weeks as I have thought about my return to Rwanda.  So many questions entered my world of secret thinking.

Am I  really a Proverbs 31 woman?

What does this mean?

Can I really be a good wife if I am running off to Rwanda?

As I began my day, I asked the Lord if He would help me understand more about being a Proverbs 31 woman.  He promptly responded:

“YOU ARE A PROVERBS 31 WOMAN.”

In attempts to understand the words the Lord spoke, I opened my bible and intentionally pondered each verse of the passage.  I was overwhelmed as I reached verse 20.

SHE EXTENDS HER HAND TO THE POOR, AND SHE STRETCHES OUT HER HANDS TO THE NEEDY.

God whispered to me and said, “Don’t you realize that you are doing just that?”

I actually found myself a little confused.  I naively pondered what He could be talking about.  It was then that I realized He was speaking about my journey to Rwanda.  I am going there to work with my hands in delight, to extend my hand to the poor, and to stretch out my hands to the needy.

Yes, there is more to being a Proverbs 31 woman than just this, but it certainly cannot be ignored.

The man the Lord has prepared for me from the beginning of time will notice me because his heart is for a Proverbs 31 woman.  He will see my heart for the poor and the needy, and he will recognize that as a characteristic of a Proverbs 31 woman.

I am humbled and honored that I can rest in the truth spoken by my Daddy.  I do not have to be anxious or concerned that I am tarnishing my character as a Proverbs 31 woman.  Instead, I am experiencing the fulness of what it means, and doing so with great delight.

The Woman Who Fears the LORD

¹⁰ An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
¹¹The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
¹²She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
¹³She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
¹⁴She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
¹⁵She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
¹⁶She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷She dresses herself with strength
and makes her arms strong.
¹⁸She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
²⁰She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
²¹She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
²²She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
²³Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
²⁴She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
²⁵ Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
²⁶She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
²⁷She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹“Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
³¹Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.

Is it possible for one to actually summarize a week of vibrant life in one blog post?

I don’t believe so.

It is, however, possible to offer a small glimpse of the beauty of the life lived within that time.

Rwanda. 

How can a country that has been through so much heartache and pain offer such beauty?  How can a country that was completely devastated offer such splendor?  It must be noted that the Rwandan people are perhaps, by nature, the friendliest people alive.  It also must be noted that the Rwandan people have every reason to abandon all trust, not only in one another, but in those who travel to Rwandan from foreign nations.  What reason has this nation to be moving in the radiance of abundant beauty?

Overflowing grace of God.

God is ALIVE in Rwanda.  I can feel Him wherever I look.  I can feel Him on the ground beneath my feet.  I can feel Him in the wind against my face.  I can feel Him in the sun shining down on my shoulders.  I can feel Him in the warmth of a child’s hand as I walk down the street.  I can feel Him in the smile of a widow at the bus stop.  I can feel Him as I wake and as I sleep.  God is occupying every bit of space within this nation.

If He is here, and He is, He obviously has a plan and a purpose.

His plan, purpose, and fire will transform this nation.

How will this happen?  What will He do?  Where will He begin?

.THE CHILDREN.

When I look into their eyes, I am undone.  Not because they are beautiful, though they are, but because when I look into their eyes, I find myself gazing into the fiery eyes of Jesus Christ.  His eyes are love.  His eyes are joy and compassion.  His eyes are mercy and grace.  And I am completely undone.

His love for the children is far greater than we, in our fleshly state, can ever imagine.  He wants to transform each and every one of them so they may be ready to change the world.  They will go to nations.  They will preach the gospel to the ends of the Earth.  They are poor, but so rich in all they have to offer.  The smiles on their faces carry the love of Jesus in a way that cannot be described.  It’s just a matter of time before they impact this life in a way that will never be forgotten.

These are the children that will make a mark which cannot be erased.  Get ready, world.  The children of Rwanda are about to do something great.  There won’t be a single corner of the Earth that is untouched.  The love of God, through the Rwandan children, is relentless.

It is exploding.

No one is safe.

Photo by Dar Rice

Please watch my video!!!!

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I have done it once again.

I promised to be consistent with my blogging, and failed to follow through.

Please, dear ones, forgive me and enjoy that which I have to share with you.

.RWANDA.

It all started in 2009.

 God told me to go to Mozambique.  So, I said “Yes, Lord, but why?”  And He said, “I’ll show you.”  So I said, “Okay.  Not my life, but Your’s.  I’ll go.  Do with me what you think is good and right.”  And a year later, I was on my way.  While I was in Mozambique, God said to me, “Laura, Rwanda is your nation. You can have it.  I will give you My heart for those people- if you want it.” I had never even heard of Rwanda.  I didn’t even know where it was on the map.  I had no idea that nearly one million people were slaughtered there in mass genocide.  But God was faithful to reveal His heart for those people to me, and then I knew why I had said yes.

 God is in the business of restoration in Rwanda, and He is allowing me to be a part of that.  He is opening the door for me to be a part of the establishment of His kingdom among the village children there.

He has given me great vision- vision that is beyond me- beyond my existence.  It’s not about what I can do or what I experience.  It’s about paving a way for the future generations in Rwanda and giving God the glory.  It’s about raising up the children there, so they can blaze trails for their children and grandchildren long after I am gone.  It’s about the years of pain and heartache being redeemed, and the fatherless experiencing the love of the one true Father.  It’s not about being known.  It’s about loving the unknown.  It’s all about the love of Jesus, being revealed to His precious little ones.  I am just a woman of God, willing to deliver that package, willing to boldly, yet humbly lay my life before the Lord and say Yes. Send me.

I am a messenger.  I am not the message.

The message is Jesus Christ.  The message is His love for you and me.  The message is His sacrifice.

If we, for a second, believe that our calling- our journey is about us, then we have fallen into a false belief.  We don’t deliver the message for the purpose of saying we have done so.  We don’t pray for another for the sake of having a great story to tell.  We don’t live our lives for fame or for riches.  We don’t live for the sake of the knowledge of accomplishment.

Instead, it is for the glory of God and God alone.  It is for His glory that we deliver His message.  It is for His glory that we obey.  It is for His glory that we follow His lead and pray for those who cross our path.  It is for His glory that we live.  It is for no other reason that we walk the path and fulfill the journey that He has prepared for us.

I say all of this for the sole purpose of conveying this message:

It is for the glory of God and God alone that I have said yes.  It is for His glory that I have chosen, by my own will, to lay my life down before Him and follow the path that He has paved for me.

A beautiful work is soon to be accomplished in Rwanda.

To God alone be the glory.

Love God.

Love your neighbor.

What if we did these things, in this order, at every given moment?  What if there was never a time when we weren’t making this our priority?  What if we realized the impact this would have on our lives and the lives of those around us?

What if our number one concern was loving God?  Don’t you think we would be entirely consumed in His presence?  Our thoughts of Him would never cease.  Our desire to be with Him would only grow as we discovered more of His beauty.  We wouldn’t be able to ignore that desire.  We would dig deeper into the depths of His love, and do so passionately.

And in that depth, we would certainly understand more of who God is.  We would know the things that bring Him pleasure and delight.  Wouldn’t we be enthralled as we discovered what moves His heart?  We would be amazed at the simple beauties that awaken His heart to His children.

In the depths of that love, wouldn’t we, knowing His love for us, long to please His heart?  We would know the things that make His heart rejoice.  We would, seeing what brings Him pleasure, certainly long to behave accordingly.  Knowing that He loves to give us our desires, we would indubitably want to do the same for Him.

Could we deny His love for all of His children?  We certainly could not.  So then, knowing that our neighbors are His children, we could not deny His love for them.  We could not deny His desires for them to be treated as righteous sons and daughters.  We would not be able to deny the simple yet intricate beauties, that each one possesses, that so move His heart.

And if we, in the depths of His love and loving Him, long to please His heart, which is abounding in love for His children, wouldn’t our love for our neighbor flow abundantly from that place?  We would see how our brother moves the heart of the one we love, and treasure him because God made him that way.  If we know that God delights in the gentleness of our sister, shouldn’t we delight in that also?  What reason have we, consumed in the depths of His heart, to not delight in that which brings Him joy?

So then, if we find ourselves struggling to love our neighbor, perhaps we should return to step one.  In that place, it is impossible for us to deny His love for our neighbor.  It is also in that place that we are reminded of the sweetness of loving that which He loves.  In that intimate place, there is an undeniable desire to please His heart.

Honoring that which He loves does just that.

Love God.  Love your neighbor.

It’s raining (:

Every time it rains, I am entirely convinced that Jesus made it happen just for me.  As much as I love the glorious sunshine, there’s just something about a steady rainfall that does wonders for my Spirit.

Earlier today I was looking out the window, gazing on the beauty of the rainfall, and I couldn’t stop thanking God for blessing me.

Of course, He’s always speaking to me.

It’s no surprise that He began to speak to me about the spiritual implications of the rain.  I mean, He wanted me to know why my spirit thrives so intensely on something.

“What would happen if it never rained?” He asked.

I was overwhelmed by my own sense of urgency to answer the question and prove why rain is so wonderful.

If it never rained, the grass would never grow.  In fact, it would all wither and die away.  If it never rained, flowers would never bloom.  Our world would lack so much beauty!  If it never rained, the air could never be cleansed of all its impurities.  If it never rained, seeds that were planted would never grow.  If it never rained, we would never rejoice in the sun.

“Exactly,” He replied.

The smile on my face began to grow.  It grew so big that it hurt.  I was overcome with joy as I realized the point He was making.

If we never went through storms in life, we would never grow.  Beautiful things would never bloom in our lives.  If we never had to walk through the rain, we would never be cleansed.

If the rain never fell on us, we would never have a reason to be thankful for the calm sun.

In order for seeds that have been planted to be able to grow, our spirits must be watered.  The Lord plants seeds in our lives.  He teaches us lessons, and we say, “Hallelujah! Yes Lord!”  So often, though, when the time comes for the seed to be watered, we say, “Why, Lord?  I don’t want to go through something difficult.”  This is entirely necessary, though, as a seed cannot grow if it is never watered.

If the Lord always taught us lessons, or planted seeds, yet we never were given the opportunity to put that lesson into practice, or let our seed grow, what would be the point?

There would be no point at all.

So I stand arms wide open with raindrops running down my face.

Thank you, Father, for the rain.

Sometimes the only thing you can do is say yes to the Lord.  All you can do is surrender.  All you can do is trust.

I have experienced this on a very deep level during the most recent season of my life.  The rainfalls have been heavy and the ground has seemed far too dangerous to tread upon.  In these times, it seems the best thing to do is say, “Yes, Lord, I’ll get wet and walk through the mud.”

… because here’s the thing…

We can’t always control our circumstances, but we can certainly control how we respond to our circumstances.  A year ago I would not have believed this if you had said it to me.  I would have denied our ability to handle our emotions.  I would have said that our emotions are beyond us and beyond our control.  As it turns out, we are totally in control of our reactions.

Who knew?

This means that we have a choice to make.  We can choose, in our circumstances, to respond in the truth of the goodness of God, or we can choose not to respond in that truth.  Either way, the reactions we express are absolutely a choice.  And we each have the ability to choose.

This does not mean that we don’t experience our emotions.  Our God is an emotional God.  He experiences sadness, happiness, and anger just as we do.  He created us with the ability to experience emotion.  So what this does mean is that within our emotions, we choose to believe the truth.

I am sad, Lord, but I know You are comforter, and I am choosing to believe You are with me now.

I am lost and confused, but I know You are my guidance, and I am choosing to believe Your ways are perfect.

I am hurt and in pain, but I know that in all things You are good, and I am choosing to believe You have my best interest in mind.

I believe that when we realize our ability to make this choice, on a daily basis, to respond to all things in the truth of the goodness of the Lord, that we can take one more step towards the fullness of the beauty of who God is.

Will you make the choice?